i think my mom watched the whole time
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
