I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
