That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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