did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
