i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
