I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
accomplished twins. life is a go
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
