I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
