she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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