my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
