ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
