well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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