and she was petting her beer can
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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