so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
