Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
