: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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