If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
