Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize