just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
