I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
