im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
