I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
there is glitter all over my balls
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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