elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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