There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
