this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
wow bdsm is so cute
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
