Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
