Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
