So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm like, not good at living.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
