I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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