babies were throwing up all over the place
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
