M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
