we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
