problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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