Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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