If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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