The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
