Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
