am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
