Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize