and she was petting her beer can
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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