Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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