so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize