sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
