I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
