Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
