Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
and you fell through a lawn chair
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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