Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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