She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
