I must be too annoying 4 u.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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