i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize