Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
