Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
