Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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