Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
