? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
