direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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