I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
