What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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