New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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