I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
