I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
