Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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