i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
