yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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